Peeing on my hand

17 Mar

It was my 33rd birthday. My period was due. I had very sore boobs and felt my usual moody self. Nothing out of the ordinary as the husband will tell you. Except something felt different. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew I had to do a preggers test. Off we trotted to Sainsbury’s both hungover (I know. Bad Mother) and purchased a (very expensive) Clear Blue.

Back at home sitting on the loo I really didn’t think in my heart of hearts that I would be with child – “We only had unprotected sex once” screams my naive 16 year old self. So I do it. I pee on the stick. And a bit on my hand. As you do. Then I wait. And I wait. And I’m pretty sure it’s not working because there seems to be a flashing egg timer and not much else. Suddenly my heart starts racing and I feel panic “Oh my god what if it’s positive” screams the independent childless voice in my head. And then immediately I feel sad “oh no, what if it’s negative? I don’t want it to be negative”.

Now I’m sat here, wee on my hand and a hangover kicking in (I know. Bad Mother), and I want it to be positive. I want a baby. Suddenly I’m in a film, everything becomes slow motion and I’m Jennifer Ansiton (not really, it just sounds like the sort of film she would be in). I look down at the stick and there it is. As bold as brass, as clear (Blue) as day. YOU’RE PREGNANT 1-2 weeks. My heart is racing and I stumble into the lounge, pissy stick in hand, and I pass it to husband with my mouth agape and, rather unusually for me, speechless. He’s now part of the slow motion film, he too is speechless, so shocked in fact he actually pauses Match of the Day. And then we’re both grinning and repeating the same line over and over “we’re having a baby. S**t. We’re having a baby. S**t”

And there you have it. Life as we know it will never be the same again. It’s never going to be just me and hubby. We are, 9 months from now, going to have a permanent +1, a mini me or a mini him and even though it is complete and utter unknown territory for both of us and we’re both extremely nervous, we can’t bloody wait. One thing’s for sure. I’ll never forget my 33rd birthday and how I got the best, albeit most unusual birthday present, I’ve ever had.


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