Here we go again…

8 Dec

So it would seem that two years of torturous sleepless nights, endless shitty nappies, the trauma of breastfeeding, childbirth, constant arguing about ‘whose turn it is to get up in the night’, and the impact of our lives having been turned totally and utterly upside down, wasn’t enough to put us off. Yes, Hubby and I have decided it’s time to try for baby number 2.

Last time I had no idea what it would be like to have a child. Coming from a large extended family, I had an experience of babies and knew a lot about them, but until you have one of your own, you have no idea. Not a clue.

I spent a lot of my first pregnancy living in a romantic comedy, where my soon-to-arrive baby slept and never cried. Where I always looked immaculate because my baby happily gurgled on his playmat whilst I had 45 minutes to have a shower, dry my hair and apply my make-up. Where I was a domestic goddess and always had time to shop, cook and eat homemade organic meals. I pictured hubby and I having ‘date night’, time for us to talk. I was sure my life wouldn’t change that much. Bless my naive self.

This time I know what to expect. This time I know exactly what it will be like. I am fully aware what the first, second and third trimester will feel like. I am fully aware that I can kiss sleep goodbye for a long time. I know that I will be lucky if I get 4 minutes to shower. I know that the food will be ‘eaten’ with a baby on one knee, a toddler on the other and said food will probably be toast. I also know that date night will consist of hubby and I sitting at opposite ends of the sofa watching a box set, too tired to speak.

So why are we doing it again I hear you ask? I have always known that I want more than one child. I am one of five children (once you count half and step-siblings) and in my memories of childhood, my sister has the starring role. I want my son to have the same experience.

However, my main reason is that having a child is the single most amazing, wonderful thing Hubby and I have ever done. None of the sleepless nights, the pain of labour, the whirlwind your life becomes, none of it even matters when you’re a parent.

I was probably ready to try again when my little boy was a year old. Well, physically I was ready, mentally I wasn’t. I think it was more to do with the fact that my baby suddenly didn’t feel like my baby anymore, and I panicked. He was a full blown toddler and in my emotional state at him reaching one, I thought the answer was another baby. It wasn’t. It would have been far too soon. Being able to drink a bottle of wine was far more preferable.

But as he got nearer the grand old age of 2 and I started to think about the age gap between my children, it felt like time to do it all again. I’m not saying it’s the right time – I don’t think that exists when it comes to babies – but it felt like an appropriate time. Plus my little man sleeps well (minus a night of teething or illness) so I am aware there is light at the end of the tunnel with regards no sleep.

If I think too much about what having two children will mean, I’m terrified. But I also get excited and like most things with kids, the good outweighs the bad, every time.


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